Fracture Recovery Part 14: Walking on My Own

Two. Shoes.

I never anticipated looking forward so much to having two shoes on. After being in the boot for so long, being able to wear two shoes feels almost like a luxury. I’m not able to wear most of my shoes, I’m limited to sneakers, but it still feels a little luxurious.

As you’re going through the journey of recovering from fracture surgery, each little victory can feel like the ultimate luxury. This has forced me to appreciate every little thing. From carrying my morning cup of tea in a normal mug to putting two shoes on again, each step forward is a huge challenge, but is so rewarding when you finally re-master a skill.

I still have a long way to go, but the benefit of being at this stage in my recovery is that I am able to control (at least a little) how my progress goes. This is essential to keeping the control freak in me satisfied. I really struggled to deal with the lack of control over my situation, especially in the very beginning.

I’ve been making some serious strides forward in returning to my normal life, from getting to the gym three or four times a week to being able to move around without thinking or doing prep-work first. My whole life, I’ve taken for granted how much freedom I’ve had to move, and most people probably do, but it’s not until something as basic as walking has been taken from you that you really appreciate how much you need it to function in your day-to-day life. I can’t imagine losing that ability for good, especially with the state of accessibility standards in Toronto.

If you’re in the same kind of position as me, especially if you’re early on in your recovery, I would seriously recommend keeping track of each of the new things your body can do. This can force you to look past the negative side of the recovery. It’s definitely not an easy recovery, but keeping a physical list of your victories will make it a little easier on you.

It’s easy to get caught up in all the things you can’t do, but you’ll be happier in the long run if you don’t get too focused on the things that are way out of your reach. Right now I’m dying to get back into yoga, but I know that I don’t have the range in my ankle to commit to the class again. That doesn’t mean that I’m not working towards it, but my focus is on each step towards that goal instead of the goal itself, at least right now.

It won’t be too much longer until I’m able to do some of the things I love, but focusing on the journey rather than far-away goals (simple as they may seem) will leave me happier and more fulfilled.

I wish I was able to move the way I want to, but this huge setback means I’m not taking anything for granted anymore.

Finding the positive in such a negative situation hasn’t been easy, but it’s getting easier and one day it’ll be over and I’ll be myself again. Even if I’ll have a little hardware in my ankle.

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